Wriggled and jiggled and tickled

Here I am driving to work after being awake for about 15 minutes, so basically I was a zombie. As I'm driving I slowly begin to wake up, which means my brain is beginning to work and I start to actually think about stuff. So I'm just driving along and I feel a sort of wriggling under my hat. My eyes shoot open and the first thing that pops into my head is, "OH MY GOSH I HAVE A SPIDER UNDER MY HAT!!!" Within a split second my just-woken brain tries to think about how a spider would have gotten trapped in my hat before I threw it on once I got dressed. Then my brain starts to think about how honkin huge this thing is. Then my brain starts to think about smashing it and getting guts all over my head which would be disgusting. Then I panicked. It's not that I am scared of spiders, I just don't like big ones touching me, or wriggling around under my hat, or having thier guts on my head. But it was just too freaky having this huge spider trapped under my hat so I started smacking my head and after a few frantic blows I stop because I hear gravel being kicked up on the side of my explorer. So I swerve back onto the road. I didn't feel any movement, "Whew, got him." Then I feel it again and as I'm sitting there with my eyes open really wide something catches my eye from the rearview mirror......A helium balloon.....that kept lightly tapping my head.